I was meant to have my day-off sometimes last week. “Off what?” you may ask. Well, not to sound self-centred, off being home all am, noon & pm with my baby. She resumed nursery and I was looking forward to having 8.30am-6pm to myself – a luxury in this season of my life. I had grand plans mapped out; full intercontinental breakfast at a favourite restaurant, 2hr spa treatment, go shopping (indulgence), late lunch at another favourite restaurant and be home for 4pm to catch a 2hr nap! Well deserved, I thought, after 11 months of nursing and caring.
An hour after she left the house, I felt I had lost something. Where was she? Was she alright? Is she coping? Did I let her resume too early? Should I have waited till when she turned 12 months or even 18 months? Heeee! Hooo! My baby! Oh, my Deborah, how I miss her!
In a nut shell, I sulked till noon. Unbelievable! Then I snapped back, I had 4hrs until pick up! But I really needed a 2hr nap. So I thought, I will do some reading for a couple of hours. Indeed, after 1.5hrs of reading, I realised I had not flipped a page – where was my mind? With her, of course! I don’t remember if I eventually had a nap because I rushed out of the house at 5pm to go pick her up!
How do I define what happened to me? Was it a bond too strong? Was I just being overly worried? So I sampled some mothers whose feelings resonated with mine. One said, “though my kids are in their late 20s, I still have them constantly in my mind. The only difference is that I get on with my daily activities.“
Maybe I went overboard in my case (first-time mum syndrome) but really, the attachment is forever evident. Can a mother forget the son of her womb? Can she really? Peradventure she does, God says He will not forget His own! Because we are engraved in His palms and our walls are always before Him Isa 49:15-16
Glory!!! I am comforted in knowing that I am not forgotten by the Creator of the Universe.